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Introduction This website is designed to assist parents and care givers in entering into a dialogue with children about issues in their lives. Just as you teach your child to walk and talk, we believe you must also teach your child to be aware of the following issues to keep them safe. How to Approach your Child Talk to your child when you have time to have a conversation. Pick a time when you are both calm. Be prepared to answer uncomfortable questions. Make sure you can remain unemotional if your child does tell you something about a touching incident. Treat the conversation as simple information they need. Safety Parents may find it difficult to talk to their kids about "safety". Here is a sample conversation starter: "It's my job to keep you free from danger or injury. Sometime you may feel scared or get a funny feeling in your stomach. That's your body's way of telling you that you may not be safe. If you ever feel that way, I want you to know I'm here to talk with you about it."Secrets "Sometimes it's fun to keep something secret, like a surprise present for your mom or dad. But if someone asks you to keep a secret that makes you feel uncomfortable it is not a good secret. They don't want anyone to find out because they know that what they're doing is wrong. You will feel better if you talk to someone about it. If you tell a grown your secret and they don't believe you, keep telling until someone listens and believes you."Privacy Respect a child's curiosity while maintaining adult privacy. Choose an approach that allows for your verbal response or use the assistance of a book about body parts to assist you in explaining the body parts and the need for privacy. When talking to a child say something like: "You may be curious about how other bodies look, other boys' or girls' or even your parents - especially the parts covered up by clothes. Just remember that everyone's privacy needs to be respected, including yours."Give an example of privacy like using the bathroom or keeping your bedroom door shut and knocking to help explain the importance of privacy. Feelings Helping your child identify their feelings is a very important skill to give them. Children often talk about feelings as they relate to their physical body.
Help them to understand these feelings and what they should do about them. Body Awareness Children need to know the correct name for their body parts. These can help keep them safe. Talk to your child: "One reason we wear clothes is to cover up our private body parts. We cover up our breasts, buttocks, penis and vagina."If a child tells a grownup (other than you) that he/she has been hurt, the grownup may not understand if the child is not using the correct name for their private body parts. Reference Materials CASCA has compiled a list of reference books and web sites for parents and care givers to use when talking to your kids. Books:
Talk to your Kids CASCA is advocating that parents and care givers take a few minutes to speak directly to their children about issues in their lives, not just sexual abuse. Remind our kids they have a right to be safe and ask them if anything or anyone has made them feel uncomfortable. It is our hope that the walls of silence that are built around abuse will come down when parents and care givers enter into direct conversations with their children. When people talk, good things happen. Together we must break the silence around abuse! CASCA |
